How Do I Get My Baby to Sleep Without Holding Them All Night?

If you're pacing the nursery room at 2 AM with a baby who refuses to sleep anywhere but your arms, first — deep breath — you’re not alone.

One of the most common questions we get asked is, "How do I get my baby to sleep without holding them all night?"

At The Jacksonville Baby Company, we want you to know that newborn sleep can feel like a wild ride (because, honestly, it is). Your baby’s sleep habits are not a reflection of your parenting skills. It is actually one of the first experiences that humble us as parents.

Welcome to the club!

Newborns are biologically wired to need closeness, but that doesn’t mean you’re doomed to sleepless nights forever. Let's talk about practical, loving ways to help your baby (and you!) get the rest you need.

When It Comes to Getting Baby to Sleep Without Holding Them, Set Realistic Expectations

Newborns have tiny tummies, unpredictable sleep cycles, and a deep biological need for comfort and closeness. It's completely normal for them to want to be held — a lot. But "normal" doesn't mean sustainable when you're running on fumes.

Real Talk: You need sleep to function and be the best mommy or daddy you can be. Sleep deprivation isn't a badge of honor — it's a health issue. It’s okay (and smart!) to seek solutions.

Practical Tips to Gently Encourage Independent Sleep

Swaddle (Safely) Newborns have a strong startle reflex that can wake them up the moment you set them down. A snug (but safe) swaddle can help them feel cozy and secure, mimicking the sensation of being held.

Create a Sleep-Friendly Environment Keep the room dark, cool, and use a pacifier and white noise. The womb was noisy and snug — silence and bright lights can feel overwhelming.

Use Motion Wisely Try rocking, swaying, or very gentle bouncing until they are drowsy, but place your baby in their sleep space before they’re asleep. This helps them get used to falling asleep in their bassinet or crib rather than on you.

Build a Simple, Soothing Bedtime Routine Even newborns benefit from small, predictable routines: a dim room, a lullaby, a diaper change, and a feed before bed. Consistency helps them recognize "it's time to sleep."

Enlist Help Sleep — real, restorative sleep — is essential. If you have a partner, family member, or postpartum doula (like us!) who can take shifts or help with overnight care, use them. You don't have to do this alone; in fact, we were never meant to do it alone.

As your baby grows, they will be capable of going longer in between bottles/breastfeeding, putting themselves asleep (if they've been taught how), sleeping longer stretches, and putting themselves back to sleep when they wake up with gentle encouragement from caregivers.

Give Yourself Grace

Some nights, despite your best efforts, your baby may still insist on being held. And guess what? That’s okay. You’re not failing. You’re meeting your baby's needs while also learning what they need to feel safe and secure on their own — a process that takes time.

At The Jacksonville Baby Company, we see you. We’re here to remind you that "good sleepers" aren’t born; they're gently supported and taught over time. And every baby (and every parent!) deserves judgment-free support along the way.

Some Final Thoughts When It Comes to Getting Baby to Sleep Without Holding Them

You won't always be a human mattress — promise. With a little time, consistency, and support, your baby will learn to sleep in their own space. And you? You'll get the rest you deserve.

Need hands-on help building healthy sleep habits from the start? Reach out to The Jacksonville Baby Company. We’re proud to offer in-home support and overnight care services for families in Jacksonville, Florida and the surrounding areas — so you can rest easy, knowing your baby (and you!) are in expert hands.

You’re doing an amazing job. Sleep will come.

Authored by Elizabeth Luke

Elizabeth is the founder and CEO of The Jacksonville Baby Company. Elizabeth and her husband and best friend, Richard are parents to four children. With certifications in Postpartum and Infant Care Support, Childbirth and Newborn Care Education, Lactation Support, and Infant Sleep, Elizabeth is a wealth of knowledge and has a heart for helping parents live their best lives while also ensuring their children are safe, happy, and leading their healthiest lives possible! Contact us today to invest in your motherhood journey!