Pushing In Labor; Don't Push Me!

There she was, growing physically tired after hours in labor. She was ten centimeters dilated and soon to enter the second stage of labor, pushing. As I wiped her forehead and held her straw to her lips she sipped and then asked me, "Did we lock the back gate before we left the house?" Then she asked, "Will I know when to push?" I reassured her that her body would do it when it was ready, she would know, but if I noticed she was ready before she realized that I was there to help her remember to follow her body's cues just as she wanted. She asked, "Is this the lull we talked about at our prenatal visit?" I shook my head, and she smiled, and closed her eyes.

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It's not uncommon for women to experience a lull during labor and sometimes they even get to enjoy it! When a lull happens this is a chance for the woman to rest, doze off, or just regain her bearings, but often times the lull is missed. A lull can seem strange to a laboring woman, a place of in between where they aren't quite sure what to do. It can last five minutes and up to a few hours depending on baby's positioning, typically not more than about five to sixty minutes.

Sometimes this lull is missed out on when people are directing and encouraging a woman to push when she doesn't feel quite ready to push yet. This directed pushing is known as purple pushing. It's perfectly fine to push with direction and encouragement if that is what the woman wants, but it isn't necessarily necessary, at least not most of the time. Women can feel "pushy" before ten centimeters dilated and also not feel the need to push once she is complete at ten, both are variations of normal. The female body is designed to birth, and get this, she can actually birth without anyone directing her most of the time. Now, I say all of that to says this; labor is hard work, no doubt women work very hard pushing in labor and to labor their babies down, but their bodies use instincts and do the work without needing to be told what to do, and most of the time it actually works quite well without their minds over-thinking it.

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While my client rested peacefully on her knees with her chest on a pillow and her husband stroking her back they prepped the room and called the attending obstetrician so he would be there for the delivery.

She opened her eyes and looked up at her husband and I and said, "I'm not ready, no purple pushing," she reminded us firmly.

I smiled at her and told her good job listening to her body. Her husband spoke to the nurses and explained that she was listening to her body, and she doesn't want to be coached to push unless medically necessary.

The nurse said, "She's complete at ten, we need to get the baby out." Her husband smiled and said, "We understand, noone wants our baby out more than us, but if it's not a medical emergency she wants to wait and listen to her body."

The nurse agreed that there wasn't a medical need and was accommodating to her patients, my clients.

I was focusing on my client and making a soothing sound that has helped many of my clients stay peacefully in their lull until they were ready to emerge. I remained alert to what my client's husband was doing, saying, and how he was reacting to the nurse, his wife, and the room filling up as they prep for the birth of their baby.

About ten or twelve minutes past from the time my client's nurse checked her cervix and gave her the green light to push and the time I felt my client's body curl inward as my hands were on her back and shoulder blade.

I could hear my client gently grunting through quiet moans.

I signaled her husband to come close at this point, as they had previously expressed the desire for him to remain at her head during pushing. She wanted him to say a prayer during this stage of labor to help her have strength. He was her rock. He looked nervous as he stood in front of me; his eyes told a very beautiful story of a man becoming a father.

I took his hands and placed them on hers, he knelt down and she grabbed his hands. She then lifted her head with eyes wide and said, "This is it!" He looked up at me as though he was thinking, this is it what do I do?

I know that look all too well, and so I leaned in close to them and said, "You made this baby together, you have spent months preparing for this, together you can do anything!

Keep listening to your body. Keep encouraging her."

He nodded and half smiled at me, and then she was pushing.

There we were less than an hour later, a strong woman who listened to her body, a supportive husband who encouraged his wife, trusted her, and kept her space safe. A doctor and his nurse who respected their patients wishes and were happy to do so. And a Doula who was honored to guide this couple through the most memorable, most challenging day of their lives together.

As her doctors waited patiently for the third stage of labor, delivery of the placenta, my client announces to all of us, "I did it! I did it without anyone having to tell me. I listened to my body and my body did this!"

And just like that a mother, a father, and a baby were born! This story was shared with permission from my clients. Names, dates, and information that could jeopardize my client's privacy were left out intentionally. For more information about labor patterns, lulls, and baby positioning check out Labor Patterns Spinning Babies.